Saturday, January 22, 2005

Beard Board

Ken is currently growing out his beard, and the process is absolutely fascinating to me. I have serious beard-envy. I'm not saying I want a big bushy face-forest (although I'd probably try for one eventually, if I could, out of sheer curiosity), but a little face-foliage, to shape and comb and wax into points, to keep you warm in winter, with that great scratchy-soft texture and lots of colors and natural waves... I could make it into a goatee or a soul patch or a handle-bar moustache, pointy sideburns or mutton chops or any of million combinations, and change it all the time, 'cause it just keeps growing. Oh yes, I'm envious.

But I have to admit, it probably looks better on him than it would on me. And I get to live vicariously through his experiments and artistic efforts. And I get to kiss a guy with a beard, which is probably more fun than just kissing, with a beard.

Anyway, like I said, I'm fascinated by this process. And when Ken goes to the Beard Board I read eagerly over his shoulder, and look at all the pictures. It's not a very active forum. People don't post all that frequently. So the other day we explored some of the links to related sites -- and it was a gold mine.

Probably the best discovery was the Handlebar Club check out the FAQs - "What is a snood, and where can I acquire one?" - and be sure to follow the link for moustache mugs (Ken wants one.) But that's just the set-up. The gallery is the payoff.

Unfortunately, Ken is not eligible to join the club right now, since he has a full beard rather than just a handlebar moustache. But that's okay, because he can still join the "Official Gentlemen's Facial Hair Club" or the "OGFHC". This site provides lots of services for the hirsuite community, such as examples of Facial Hair Stereotypes in Popular Media. But perhaps the most relevant section of the site for me, as an unbearded-American, is the "she would look better..." page. I'll let you imagine what that is, or click on the link for yourself. Some of them really do look better.

There's a lot more links at the bottom of the Beard Board page, under the "beard affiliates" drop down menu (like rate my goatee, an inevitable mutation of the "hot or not?" meme), but Ken drew the line after we visited The Chest Hair Site. I was willing to stop there too.

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